For those of you who don't know, the moment I took Cody home from the hospital I held him all the time. I held him when he was awake, I held him when he was asleep, I practically held him all the time. If I wasn't holding him someone else was. I was so excited to have our little guy and I just always wanted to hold him, you get the point. Well at 3.5 months my kid is 16 pounds and 27.5 inches long, 6-9 month clothes. He is a pretty big boy. The other day I realized when my back was absolutely killing me that I couldn't keep this up much longer. I had tried in the past to put him in his crib when he fell asleep but as soon as I put him down he immediatly started to cry, so I would pick him back up and rock him for hours until he was done with his naps ( I know this is pathetic but my heart couldn't stand to hear him scream.) You think this is bad, nights were worse. I would walk with him for about an hour, rock him for yet another hour and put him down in his crib only to hear him cry. I ended up sleeping with him quite a few times in the chair. (Now that I'm writting this I can't believe I was actually doing all this:) live and learn right!!
I started reading Healthy sleep habits, Happy child the middle of this week and decided Friday to start implementing the skills. The books explains how it is not good for children to not get adequate sleep. They need to learn to fall asleep on their own and take proper naps so they can develop mentally in the proper ways. Other wise they will be sleep deprived and no a happy baby. Friday night I started our new schedule. I put Cody to sleep at 8:00 because he kept dosing off in my arms, and yes as soon as I did he started to cry in his crib. This possibly could be the worst thing I have ever done. I shut his door to let him cry. I have never heard him cry like that before. Not only cry, he was hestarical. As I sat out here listening I started to sob. I kept going in to reassure him he was ok as the book says, but it just made it worse. After about 20 mins of this I couldn't take it anymore. When I was about to go in and rescue my little one my aunt Heather popped up on facebook. She said, "You made it this long you might as well follow through or you be cheating him." So I decided to follow through. I let him cry for 45 mins until he finally fell asleep. The night went good. He woke up only one time to eat and went right back asleep.
Last night I tried the same thing. I put him in his crib at 7:04 because he missed his afternoon nap. He cried until 7:25, Yay only 21 mins. We are making progress.
This morning I put him down for his nap at 8:50 and he only cried for 6 mins until he fell asleep.
I can't tell you how proud I am of my little guy. This is probably the worst and hardest thing I have ever done, but it is working. I can't wait until I lay him down in his crib and he doesn't cry but just falls asleep. Thanks to my facebook friend who kept me going. I would have felt awful if I would have cheated him out of this accomplishment.
For all you new mothers out there, don't do what I did. It will be painful to correct. I totally recommend this book. It is great!! It helps you get your baby on a schedule and helps explain every child is different and requires different sleep. Once again, I am so stinkin proud of Cody. He is learning to fall asleep on his own:)!!!!!!!!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Could I be the worst mom ever????
Posted by AuBrie and Russ at 8:02 AM
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11 comments:
Hey Aubrie, this is Amber from Manti and we played volleyball together. I found your blog a bit ago and your little boy is so dang cute. I read your post and I am so proud of you. I was just like you when my little boy was born. I held him all the time even when he slept. Well, now I am paying for it. He is 18 months old and he doesn't sleep well through his naps unless I am holding him. I also held him when I would put him to bed at night and now, still to this day, I have to lay with him for over an hour to get him to sleep. If I am not laying next to him he will not fall to sleep. I know how you feel with this whole situation and I am jealous your little boy is falling asleep on him own. I know how hard it is for you to hear him cry but trust me it will be better in the long run. Keep up the good work. Also where did you find that book? I could definitely use it.
Aubrie I am so proud of you. When Carter was born I did the same thing. He was always being held and I loved every minute of it. When I tried doing the bed time thing I couldnt hear him cry so I didnt make him ever! I know sad and pathetic but in my head I just told myself I will never be able to hold any other baby I have as much as I do Carter cause I will have him to take care of so I gave in. He is now 2 1/2 and he still has problems going to bed on his own. He will do it but isn't happy about it. So needless to say I just did the same thing you did with Cody with Bridger this week and it is working so good! I am glad I am sticking to it also but I wasnt about to make the same mistake twice! ha So good job I am proud of you. Its so hard to hear them cry and it breaks your heart but take it from me the end result is worth it!! He is adorable and i'm glad to hear your doing so good!
Hi Aubrie, I found a link to your blog from Trudy's. I went to Snow with you. I too just had to go through this and I can't agree more that it is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do! You're smart getting things under control now. I waited until mine was six months which has meant many sleep deprived nights for both of us and a much harder time training him to soothe himself. Good job! Your little one is a cutie!
Lol you are not alone! I did this with my first baby boy! Finally at 6 months old and being up until 2 in the morning (with him wanting to be up longer).. I couldn't stand it! Everyone told me that I looked like a train wreck! My little one NEVER slept (even when he was born the nurses said they never saw anything like it!... he wouldn't go to sleep for the first 8 hours after delivery). I did the technique that you did and it worked! Now, my youngest little boy is having troubles now and the technique isn't working so great, but all is well. We'll figure something out. Glad you and your little one can finally get some deserved sleep! (ps.- In case you haven't figure it out... this is "manti volleyball" Lauren :)
I am reading that book right now too! I didn't hold Kian very much at first because I didn't want him to depend on it, but they learn that it is better to be held by mom no matter what. So I am going throught the same thing right now, trying to wean him off of the holding phase. It sucks!
Way to go AuB! It's so hard to let them cry themselves to sleep, but really is worth it! I did that with Brynlie (thanks to that same book) at about 3 months old because I had to go back to work and to this day (she's 2 and a few months) when I put her in bed she'll lay in there and talk or sing for a few minutes and just put herself to sleep! Keep up the good work!
Way to be tough Aubrie! I had to do the same thing with Bodee. But it's such a nice feeling being able to lay them down and walk out without them screaming!
that is so funny that you posted ths because i just ordered this booktoday. i was actually going to give it to you to use until i needed it... but guess not. so proud of you! i knew you could do it. big accomplishment for you and cody!
I am glad you posted this! I just had my little girl a week ago and started doing things I swore I would never do just to get some shut-eye. It sucks to hear her cry and it just breaks my heart, but your post gave me motivation I need to try and instill good sleeping habits even this early. Thanks! And your little man is adorable!!!
I'm so happy I finally got to see Cody today! It took me long enough, huh? He's darling. I can't wait to hang out with you guys again. Are you coming for Easter?
Thanks for sharing your experiences! I know so many people are benefiting by what you post!
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